Yes dear patron we can tell what you are doing.

One of the most awkward situations is when you realize that a patron is pleasuring themselves.  Ahh the joy of having unfiltered computers.  One can only imagine how sly they think they are as they push the monitor to the end of the desk/table/corral and think no one notices their one handed typing or their panting.  It has only happened a few times, and awkwardly enough the first time the person was right next to the circ desk.  There are also the patrons who decide to take a break and use the restroom.  Usually you tell them to stop or kick them out, or ban them, and you hear apologies or denials, or at times they just don't want to stand up.  I can gladly say I'm happy we don't have more than one floor with hidden away computers as I've seen elsewhere and as I'm sure other people have seen.

But wait there's salvation filters were installed, sites have been blocked due to content. But there's always a person that has their own special fetish that is just not blocked, and yes I am the one who manages to find them. In comes foot fetish patron, watching youtube videos of feet.  At first I try to ignore this, but it gets worse, he believes he has outsmarted the entire library staff, because you see he comes in wearing a jacket when it's 60 degrees out, but this jacket has a purpose.  When on the computer and he gets his desire to finish what the video just won't let him do, you take off the said jacket and cover your arm and lower torso.  By doing this no one can figure out what you are doing as you stare intensely at the screen of videos of feet playing on the monitor.  At this point my least favorite part of my job is approaching the patron.  Now how do you decide to interrupt, do you do the polite cough to let them know you are there, do you tap them on the soldier, do you disconnect the computer, do you joke or are you stern about it?  I, being a sort of an ass at times, and knowing that getting in trouble for this is not really going to happen. (when a patron is caught doing this seldom ever will they admit they were doing so in a complaint) decide to go to the stacks, find The Family Foot Care Book slam it next to his computer and tell him his time's up and he will have to go finish at home.  Puzzled, startled, then looked at the book he decided to get up and leave the library.

Yes I know some of you believe that I have acted improperly, but until this happens to you and more than once, you don't know how to react.  No the patron was not mortified or angry and even returned the next day and said hello to me.  Ahh the joys of libraries never seem to end.